Still more mid-week ramblings...

It's my two cents...

* Why isn't TV's "Batman" (1966-1968) available on DVD?

* Call me crazy, but I still think the only true "Batman" is Adam West.

* Wouldn't you love to watch Keith Olbermann and Bill O'Reilly go at in a cage match?

* George Carlin's "Rufus" was the glue that held the "Bill & Ted" movies together.

* Enough already with Mario Lopez -- He's making Ryan Seacrest look underexposed.

* There's no greater pleasure then waking up to a stack of blueberry pancakes.

* Yes, I'm one of the few people who actually enjoyed "The Happening." Sue me!

* I'm not impressed with the new "Million Dollar Password." The classic version was much more fun. I loved when the host gave the contestants a wallet containing the secret password.

* I don't think the sculpted cakes on Food Network's "Ace of Cakes" look every edible.

EW's New Classic Movie List Sucks!

I just finished checking out Entertainment Weekly's "New Classics of the Past 25 Years" issue and I'm still in a state of shock.

I can't believe what titles were placed on their Top 25 movie list...and more importantly, what films were left off. They actually chose "Pulp Fiction" as the top film of the past 25 years -- Puleeeease! Where was "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan? "The Shawshank Redemption?" "Rocky 3?"

All I can say is the folks at EW magazine have lost some major street cred.

Here are their Top 25 New Movie Classics (with my added commentary)...

25. Shrek - A fine CGI cartoon, but not top 25.
24. A Room With a View" - I checked out. Did anybody see this?
23. Momento - I'd rather see Burt Reynold's "Stroker Ace"
22. Rushmore - In no rushmore to see this artsy-fartsy flop. Ha!
21. Schindler's List - Filmmaking at it's best.
20. The Lion King - Come on, this is not the Top 25 kiddie movies.
19. Casino Royale - Good, but Daniel Craig is no Sean Connery (or Roger Moore).
18. Do the Right Thing - A decent film about a difficult subject.
17. Jerry Maguire - Bleah! Tom Cruise and Jonathan Lipnicki - Nuff said.
16. Boogie Nights - Phillip Seymore Hoffman + Burt Reynolds = Great movie.
15. Edward Scissorhands - I liked "Pee Wee's Big Adventure" much better
14. Crumb - I've never even heard of this.
13. Goodfellas - Should be in the Top 3.
12. Matrix - Awesome flick, even the Oracle agrees.
11. This is Spinal Tap - I fell asleep watching this.
10. Moulin Rouge - Where's the clicker?
9. Die Hard - Yippee-Ki-yay!
8. The Silence of the Lambs - Love Foster and Hopkins.
7. Hannah and Her Sisters - I like Woody Allen and Michael Caine, but number 7?
6. Saving Private Ryan - Solid flick, no arguments
5. Toy Story - This belongs at #15, not #5.
4. Blue Velvet - This pick should be tried as a crime against humanity.
3. Titanic - Yes, I cried when Grandma tossed her neckless into the water, so what?
2. Lord of the Rings Trilogy - The only one they got right.
1. Pulp Fiction - A great film, but the best of the past 25 years? Me thinks not!

"I see lots of dead people"

Hey gang, just caught M. Night Shyamalan latest, "The Happening," and guess what... I really liked it. Call me crazy, but I'm disagreeing with the nation's movie critics and recommending this movie to all my readers.

If you're a fan of the old 'Twilight Zone," you'll dig this flick. In a nutshell, "The Happening" is about a family (led by Marky Mark) on the run from a natural crisis that presents a large-scale threat to humanity.

Was it perfect? No. Did it have moments of unintentional laugher? Yes (see scene where lions attack a man at the zoo). But it also had me on the edge of my seat from beginning to end.

So ignore the critics and run to the nearest mulitplex. Thank me later.

-The Bitter Producer

Ashton Banner

Is it just me or does Ashton Kutcher resemble the new Hulk?

Marlee Matlin is Alice Nelson

Oscar winner and former "Dancing With The Stars" contestant, Marlee Matlin announced today that she is in fact Alice from "The Brady Bunch." Matlin was quoted in a USA TODAY story about her new memoir, "I'll Scream Later."

"As a young girl, I imagined myself as Marcia Brady who just happened to be deaf, but today as a mom of four, I'm no longer Marcia. I've morphed into Alice the maid."
-Marlee Matlin

And no, I'm not making this up... Honest!

Just Asking...

* Is there a zanier character on TV then "The Brady Bunch's" Alice?

* I wonder what the "B" in Ann B. Davis stands for?

* Why isn't Alice Cooper in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame but Madonna is?

* What happened to the character of "Sallah" (John Rhys-Davies) in the new Indian Jones movie?

* Am I the only one who's not excited about the new "Hulk" remake?

* What's so historic about History Channel's "Ice Road Truckers?"

* Is it just me or does CBS' new "Password" look a lot like ABC's old "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" The password is "copy."

* I wonder what Kenny Chesney looks like underneath his giant hat?

* Does anyone care about Tony Danza anymore?

"You chose... wisely"

I just rented the DVD of "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" and all I have to say is "Wow!"

I had not seen this installment of the Indiana Jones saga in over ten years and watching it in HD was like seeing it again for the first time.

And of course being a bitter producer, I had to compare it to the recent "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" and the results weren't pretty. Bascically there is no comparison, "Last Crusade" is like "Citizen Kane" to "Skull's" "Smokey & the Bandit part 3."

"Last Crusade" had everything one could want in an Indiana Jones movie; intrigue, exotic locales, realistic action sequences and yes, it even had sex. Can you imagine both Indy and his father (Sean Connery) getting down with the same woman in the childish "Crystal Skull?" I think not.

So to make sure Spielberg and Lucas don't screw up the next Indiana Jones sequel, I put together a short list of elements they need to include...

1) A believable script with adult themes and situations (i.e. no CGI gofers and monkeys).
2) Great characters (I.e. Henry Jones, Sr., Sallah, Elsa Schneider and Marcus Brody)
3) Evil villians (like Walter Donovan and Col. Vogel -- not Cate Blanchette's cartoony Col. Spalko)
4) A cool ending (i.e. the Holy Grail and a 700 year old knight, not a bunch of skeletal aliens in a CGI space ship).
5) And most of all, no Mutt Williams (sorry Shia, you were the worst part of "Crystal Skull").

Say cheese!

I just returned from seeing "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" and the best word to describe my feelings right now is.... disappointed.

After waiting 19 years for this "Indy" sequel, I thought Spielberg and Lucas would have produced a masterpiece on the level of "The Empire Strikes Back" or "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn" -- Instead what I got was a ridiculous plot, cheesy CGI effects and a script written for an 8-year-old (I won't even mention the gofers). It's funny, I had the exact same experience after seeing "Star Wars: Episode 1" (also produced by George Lucas).

Disappointment #2 -- The movie's new character, "Mutt Williams" (a cross between Justin Long in "Die Hard 4" and Fonzie from "Happy Days") played by Shia LaBeouf.

It's obvious Lucas wants Shia to take over the franchise from Harrison Ford (who's now a senior citizen). To make matters worse, he tries to sell us on "Mutt" using that old movie cliche, "Oh by the way, the character who's been giving you a hard time for most of the film is actually your son" -- Hmmm where have we seen that before?

That all said, I still enjoyed "Indy 4" on some level, I just haven't figured out which one yet.

OMG it's June already!

Hey kids, I was surfing on youtube this morning and came across this new video from Kid Rock. It has everything a great video needs -- a catchy song, motor boats and hot chicks. Enjoy!