Help! I'm "Lost"

Like many of my fellow Losties, I came away from Thursday's "Lost" finale with more questions then answers. And since I have this groovy new blog, I thought I'd share a few...

* Why does Ben still move the island even after he's killed all of Widmore's commandos?

* How did Jin manage to learn english is just a couple of months despite the lack of classes, books or Berlitz tapes?

* Whatever happened to the Darma Initiative's zoo?

* Did the helicopter really save that much more fuel when Sawyer made his selfless love leap into the ocean?

* Why is Claire a ghost -- She was never killed?

* Is there a dinosaur on the island or did the smoke monster knock down all those trees in season one?

* When the helicopter was taking off from the freighter, why didn't the ship's crew members try to jump on?

* When Jack and Freckles were at the airfield in the flash forward -- Why did they both refer to Locke as Jeremy Betham even though they were alone with each other?

* Do the island's magical powers include keeping Jack's facial stubble at the same length for months at a time?


ANY ANSWERS OR THEORIES WILL BE APPRECIATED -- THANK YOU!

Celebrity Deaths -- They always comes in threes

I just heard the tragic news that "Carol Burnett Show" star Harvey Korman has died. I'm totally crushed. He was one of my all-time favorite comic actors.

It's been a shitty week for TV and movie fans... First "Laugh-In" star Dick Martin was taken from us, then movie director/actor Sydney Pollack and now Harvey Korman. And to top it all off today is the opening day of "Sex and the City."

Harvey Korman was brilliant in almost every role he took on, everything from "Blazing Saddles" to his guest spots on "The Munsters." He even shined in that turd of all turds, "The Star Wars Christmas Special." Harvey played an alien in the Cantina. Check out this absurd clip where Harvey orders a drink from the bartender played by "Golden Girl" Bea Arthur -- You can't make this stuff up!



Korman fact: He was the voice of the Great Gazoo on "The Flintstones"

Here are some new mid-week ramblings...

(Note: They're both carrying backpacks)

It's my two cents...

* Wouldn't you love to see a battle to the death between the Dell Dude and the Mac Guy?

* What's the deal with "American Idol" winner David Cook's hair?

* I saw "The Great Escape" on AMC the other night -- Awesome flick! Now I know why everyone was so gaga for Steve McQueen.

* "Password" is coming back for the umpteenth time with Regis as host. It's totally unoriginal, but should do well nonetheless.

* Those freecreditreport.com commericals are totally overplayed... but I still catch myself singing along.

* Did you ever notice how all the network morning news programs are exactly the same?

* I wonder whatever happened to that Swedish pop group Roxette?

* No matter how hard I try to like him, I still can't stand Howie Mandel.

* How come when somebody quits a job they always send out a mass email stating "you've all been like family to me," -- then you never hear from them again?

* Firing Jay Leno (who's in first place) to make room for Conan O'Brien has to be one of the dumbest business decisions in recent memory. Ironically, it reminds me of when Jay Leno's manager got NBC to prematurely push Johnny Carson out the door.

* The CW is bringing back "Beverly Hills 90210." What's next... "Silver Spoons: The Next Generation?"

* When it comes to frozen pizza, Mamma Celeste can't be beat.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssss?

Here's a clip you've probably never seen before. It's from "The Jack Benny Show," a TV series popular back in the 1950s. In this scene Jack's on a shopping trip and runs into "The Yes Guy" (Frank Nelson). Check it out. I dare you not to laugh! :D

Note: "The Simpsons" created a character inspired by Frank Nelson. Not surprisingly, they named him "The Yes Guy."

Jumping the Shark!

You've all probably heard the phrase, "Jump the Shark." well if you haven't, it refers to the exact moment when a successful TV series starts to go bad.

It all started on the 70s series "Happy Days," when the Fonz jumped over a shark on water skiis. Yes, he wore his trademark leather jacket in the water. Ugh!

Here is that moment in all its youtube glory. Check it out!

It's D-Day!!!

65-year old Harrison Ford dons his Fedora one more time for "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull."  The Fourth movie in the series unspools in thousands of theaters around the world today.  Reveiws have been mixed, but not bad enough to prevent moviegoers (like me) from shelling out their ten bucks.  Here's what my favorite critic had to say...

"If you liked the other Indiana Jones movies, you will like this one, and that if you did not, there is no talking to you." -- Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times

Mutt LaBeouf

Yes, it's official, Shia LaBeouf's name in the new "Indiana Jones" sequel is "Mutt Williams." "Mutt" joins a long line of unique character names that the young actor has adopted.  

To prove this point, we've come up with a lame "match the Shia character with the movie" game.  Good Luck!

CHARACTER:                            MOVIE:

1) Sam Witwicky                        a) I, Robot

2) Farber                                  b) Disturbia

3) Stanely Yelnats                      c) Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle

4) Max                                      d) Transformers

5) Kelly Ernswiler                      e) The Battle of Shaker heights

6) Cody Maverick                        f) Holes

7) Kale Brecht                           g) Surf's Up

Answers: 1-d, 2-a, 3-f, 4-c, 5-e, 6-g, 7-b

"Prince Caspian" - The magic is gone

(Above photo:  The young stars of "Narnia" search in vain for a better script)

Just got home from seeing "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian" and I'm going to give it a reluctant thumbs up.  While it's a decent film, it just just didn't hold up to the original ("The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe").   I also missed the character of the "White Witch" played to perfection by Oscar winner Tilda Swinton  (Although she does make an all-too-brief CGI cameo).  More later.

Does the new Indy suck?

This is a photo of Harrison Ford and Shia LaBeouf high-tailing it out of Cannes as a mob of angry French filmgoers give chase.  The near riot occurred following the premiere  of "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" at the Cannes International Film Festival.

Actually it's just a still from the film, but early internet reviews have not been kind to the fourth "Indy" installment from producer George Lucas and Director Steven Spielberg.               

On Aintitcoolnews.com, A movie exec who calls himself ShogunMaster wrote this after attending an early screening... 

"This is the Indiana movie that you were dreading.  During the whole movie there was not a single moment that I thought our hero Mr. Jones was in any sort of peril or even significant inconvenience."  

Let's all hope the ShogunMaster is wrong, but I have a feeling he's not.  After all, George Lucas did bring us the dreaded "Star Wars Christmas Special," "Howard the Duck" and "Star Wars: Episodes 1-3.  Nuff said.

From the better late then never department...

Attention Trekkers:  Now you can finally see what would happen if Admiral Kirk and Khan had the chance to meet in person with these new "Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan" action figures (*available at a comic book store near you). 

Imagine all the fun you'll have as you beam your little collectible Kirk aboard Khan's hijacked USS Reliant (or a Nike shoe box) and let them go at it.  No more space transmissions for these two mortal enemies --it's the battle royal we've all been waiting for.

Warning: Like in the movie, Khan's pecs are made of plastic.

Jack Black: No longer cool

Yes, the rumors are true... popular actor Jack Black is no longer considered cool.  After starring in a string of bad movies and hosting Nickelodeon's "Kids Choice Awards," the former "School of Rock" star just couldn't hold out any longer.  Black finally succumbed to the unforgiving forces of lameness while promoting his new sell-out cartoon, "Kung Fu Panda" at the Cannes Film Festival.  

Exhibit A: The video below.  "I rest my case." 

Bonjour Woody et Scarlett

The Cannes Film Festival started today, so to celebrate I thought I'd share some random brain turds...

*  I hear "Kung Fu Panda" is premiering at Cannes... Can a film festival Jump the Shark?

*  Do you think Shia LaBeouf is staying at the same hotel as Harrison Ford?

*  Is it just me or does it seem that everyone in Hollywood is close friends with Harvey Weinstein?  

*  The big award at the Cannes Fest is the Palme d'Or.  I bet not too many people know the english translation -- "The Golden Palm."

*  On "Three's Company," Mr. Furley went to a French restaurant and wanted to order escargot (snails) -- He asked for "s -car-gots."  They used that joke in two different episodes.

*  I went to the South of France once... I felt like a nerdy version of  James Bond.  

*  I ordered pizza tonight and asked for light cheese... as usual, they ignored me.

Iron Man, Iron Man, does whatever a Iron Man can

I finally saw "Iron Man" last night and get this -- I actually enjoyed it.   It wasn't perfect, but how many movies are? (0k "Star Trek 2" and the original "Planet of the Apes"do come to mind - ha)

Anyway, "Iron Man" has everything a good superhero movie should;  A decent script, cool special effects, good acting (Robert Downey, Jr.) and most importantly an over-the-top villain (Jeff Bridges).   I'm a little miffed though because I heard there was a scene at end of the credits featuring an eyepatch-wearing Samual Jackson -- Why do I always miss that stuff?

Here's my one beef -- Why does every superhero movie feel the need to include a Transformers-like battle between the hero and the villain in the final act of the film.  It all started way back when Superman battled General Zod in "Superman II" and it's been snowballing ever since.  And it's always the same sequence.  

Check it out...

1.   Hero is outmatched by the villain who has acquired similar powers.                                          

2.  After some back and fourth, villain strikes a blow to the hero, knocking him to the ground.

3.  Hero lays wounded near death.

4.  Miraculously hero somehow regains strength, spots a weakness in the villain and wins in the end. 

Come on screenwriters, it's getting old.  Please try a little harder... it's called "Originality." 

Seacrest out!

Random Opinions...

After watching countless hours of TV over my lifetime, I've come to the conclusion that "M*A*S*H" was the greatest series ever produced.  

The writing, acting and even the sets on the first six seasons were top notch.   Nothing on TV today even compares.  No, not even "How I Met Your Mother."

I bet if William Shakespeare had lived in the 1970s, he would have been a "M*A*S*H" staff writer.

Late night musings....

Here's my two cents...  

-I haven't seen "Iron Man" yet, but probably will this week.  Did you ever notice that all the recent superhero movies have the same exact plot? 

-Why can't i zap past the Food Network's "Ace of Cakes."  It's dull as dust, but for some unknown reason I can't look away. 

-Why do all late-night talk show hosts sit behind desks, while daytime hosts prefer big fluffy couches and chairs -- shouldn't it be the other way around?  

-I saw Ricki Lake at a Border's book signing the other day and she looked totally different -- very soccer momish.

-I have no tolerance for Howie Mandel.